I just got called to our current interim division chief head poobah's office. It's never a good feeling. You generally know either you're in trouble, or you're getting another assignment to work on. For me it was the latter. I'm now in charge of putting together a client council and organizing it. In addition to my supervisory duties, in addition to attempting to cover two units, in addition to internship responsibilities, in addition to school, in addition to my family life! All this is just peachy. I aslso like to have my own personal down time. My knitting/TV watching/scrapbooking time. I would like to add a couple of hours on to each day just to sleep if possible please. People ask me all the time how I do it all and it's simple. I just do it. I buckle down and get things done. If I can't get it done right away, it will get done. If I have to extend a deadline here and there it will get done. I just try my best. Do I have a lot on my plate? Hell yes! Would I have it any other way? Of course not! Am I seriously looking forward to my vacation in to weeks? Do I even have to ask that question?
I know we're all sick to death of hearing about "going green." And yes, I'll admit that the girl who harassed her mother to recycle now doesn't do it herself. And I don't buy "green" products because they're more expensive than the regular ones, but I do try to do my part. Soon I'll be sharing about my efforts to bring back an old bike from the grave and the journey this is taking, but I want to wait until I can get some pictures scanned in, but one thing I looked at was spending the same amount of money would get me a new bike, but Adam (at the bike shop) talked about how it would be nice to bring one back instead of throwing it out. I even have a bin full of those reusable grocery bags...if I remember to take them. This weekend I hit some consignment sales. Now I love a good deal and I got some good deals this weekend, plus I gave some barely used clothing a new home. It's so economical too because I can take my stuff to one place and just use a credit to get more clothes. It's like getting them for free! So I do my part, I may not be a role model for going green, but I try.
Other than the sales this weekend was wonderful. I got some knitting done, not as much school work as I needed to do and got my van cleaned out. We'll see how long that lasts. We head to the beach in two weeks and two days so it had to be done eventually.
Work is busy as always. I've got way too many irons in the fire, but it will all get done eventually. Trying to meet my agenda while not stepping on others' is tough sometimes, but I keep focused on my goals.
My day started ut with both babies (although Jay insists hes a big boy) in bed for cuddling. Cereal for me and Jay. Then nursed Nell. Jay and Nell had some cuddles on he couch. There's been a generous amount of Noggin and lunch with Gigi coming up! I love Saturdays!!!
Since having my own children, I find that I'm far less judgemental of other people. One of my favorite statements has always been that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and everyone thinks the other person's stinks. Everyone has their own opinions about everything from childcare to politics to religion. You know the drill. Every day we are subjected to other people's opinions. You ahve a choice whether or not to let it influence you. I recently told someone that if I let everyone's parenting advice affect me, I wouldn't be able to do anything right. You hear this is wrong or that is wrong. You should or shouldn't do these things. You have to make a decision that's right for you. I know that I have strong opinions myself (duh) and it's hard to keep those to myself, but I have to remember just because it works for me doesn't mean it works for someone else. Keeping our opinions out of other people's business is hard. What it boils down to for me is that I can determine my own values, morals and opinions and you can have yours. I can't necessarily expect to change yours and you're not going to change mine. now there are some things that are just givens. Murder is wrong, and abuse or exploitation of a child is wrong. But other than that, adults have a right to express their own opinions and do their own thing. I can't tell you what you can and can't do to your body, that decision has to be right for you.
There's nothing really pressing that brought this to my mind other than just something that has been rattling around in my brain for a while.
In other news, it's Friday. I have a dilemma that is rolling around in my brain. You know how when you know what the right thing probably is, but it's hard to do and you know either way you won't be very happy with the outcomes? Yeah,t hat's where I am right now.
Jay is going to stay with his Gigi and Papa tomorrow night. Originally it was because I had a paper due next week, but that deadline has been pushed back two mroe weeks. Planning to use the time to catch up on other work and maybe get ahead of the game for once. Possibly dinner with new friends tomorrow night. Spend time with Nell. I feel like we're so wrapped up in everything else that she doesn't always get the individual attention that Jay has always enjoyed. And Jay will definitely be getting special attention Saturday night with his Gigi!
As if Monday mornings weren't hard enough already, I just opened an e-mail that says our big DOJ visit for the hospital looks like it will happen the first week in November. Great. At least we'll be getting it over with, but things around here will be really kicking into high gear. For those not in the know, a few years ago the Atlanta journal Constitution ran a series of articles about unexplained deaths in Georgia's mental hospitals. While we were at the bottom of the list when it comes to incidents, the whole system was shown to be flawed. This prompted the Department of Justice to decide to investigate the hospitals. We were waiting and waiting for when they would make a visit to CSH. Many, many trees were lost in the task of copying documents requested, many man hours were spent figuring data and numbers. And they continues to postpone their visit until they finally said they weren't going to investigate CSH. They had seen enough at the few hospitals they visited to make a general assumption that all the hospitals had the same issues. So a settlement was reached with the state and plans were made that they would be able to come in basically whenever they chose. We have to show that we are making improvements in several areas and any time there is a problem, they can show up. Fast forward to this past Spring. We had a death in my building. And a pretty grisly one at that. One of our patients killed another patient in his room. Of course this brought DOJ down on us like a pack of spider monkeys. They visited, reviewed documents, etc. They identified areas that needed improvement. The week before my maternity leave they visited again to see if changes had been made. They were not satisfied with the changes that were made and that's how we became split from CSH. We are now directly supervised by the comissioner of Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Disabilites and the forensic coordiantor for the state is working here in this building. So now we get word that it's time for DOJ to make their initial visit to survey the hospital. Take a baseline, if you will. And that will take place the first week in November. I'm expecting that things around here will be nuts! It always gets that way. The good news is that now that we're spilt from CSH, I think it will be much calmer. Cook building staff tend to be less reactive in general to these things. I think it will be handled better than it was in Powell where people just get really crazy about these things. I call it "Danger, Danger Will Robinson" mode! LOL
So that's it in a nutshell. Over the next six weeks or so if I seem crazier (than usual), you'll know why. As if I need anything added to my brain fogginess, now it's this.
This has been such a wild weekend. I don't feel like I ever really rested. Well, there was this one time Saturday afternoon when Nell was asleep in her bouncy seat and I laid on the loveseat with Jay's head at the other end and him lying on my legs. We slept that way for about thirty minutes. I had rounds this week, so I had to go walk the building yesterday and today. That was just peachy. The library fair (yay books!) was yesterday. I always love this. Mom came with us this year and I couldn't have made it without her! There were so many people and Jay was wild, plus Nell and then two bags of books. It was crazy, but fun. Got some good books. Jay had a blast. Replaced the tires and tubes on the bike. Now to figure out how to remove the chain so I can replace it. It's so rusted and the chain tool isn't working. Hoping to get it figured out soon...
Tomorrow is Jack's birthday. One more year until the big 4-0. I made an ice cream cake for him today. It didn't turn out just like I'd want. I forgot to put some layers of caramel between the cake and ice cream, then the "icing" was too runny. But I'm sure it'll taste great. Who doesn't like ice cream and cake? Maybe some pictures of the big mess tomorrow. Last week saw the arrival of my newest niece Lucy. Whitney and Cole are parents. Even though they're Auburn fans, we still love little Lucy and can't wait to meet her this Thanksgiving.
I wanted to upload some pics of my kids, but blogger is being testy and I'm too tired. So pics tomorrow.
When I was pregnant with Jay, my mom told me that when you're pregnant the blood flow is diverted partially from your brain to the baby and it causes memory loss, but after you have the baby, the memory will come back....she lied! Sometimes I feel like I'm just swimming through this permanent brain fog. Then get a couple of kids on top of that and you just lose it! Yesterday afternoon I had taken the kids for shots and when I was leaving Macon Nell started crying....loudly. I turned on the tibetan monk songs and all it did was make Jay mad. So he's just whining about me turning it off. I was returning a call to Uncle Bill and about the time he got on the phone I just couldn't even really remember my name! It was like I forgot who I was, where I was, etc... Then I get to work this morning and apparently after I unplugged the fridge to pump, I didn't plug it back in again...at 11:30am yesterday! So of course the leftovers in there I planned to eat for lunch today are ruined. Which means I'll have to go out for lunch instead of eating in and getting schoolwork done like I had hoped. I think I need some memory pills of anti-brain-fuzziness pills or something. That would be great with all the pills I'm taking every morning anyways! Zyrtec, cingulair, hydrochlorthiazide, prenatal vitamin, vitamin C, brewer's yeast, fenugreek. Bring it on!
Today is a long day for me. I have work, then I have class, then I'm doing my second of four administrative rounds tonight. Will also need to pump in there somewhere tonight so it will be a long night for me. I think I'm not going to push to get here too early tomorrow. This weekend is the library fair here and I can't wait. I really look forward to it every year. I already have two or three books that I'm waiting to read, but I need more! LOL Actually I generally get some good books there and this year Jay's old enough to enjoy the kids' games so he'll have a ball.
Another life change since Nell is that I have a new found love for all things caffeinated. I literally kissed my diet coke from the machine across the hall from my office this mroning...and it's my second one. Coffee too! I never really drank much pre-Nell, now I love it. I think I'll wait to wean myself off of it when Nell is three or something. For now it's a daily necessity.
Work issues I'm going to have to deal with today, need to get some reading and reviews done, need to get more work stuffs done. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Hectic, and crazy, but beautiful!
When you start your morning out right on time or just a few minutes late things have a way of snowballing. I guess I just have to be resigned to the fact that about once a week I'm going to have a rough morning. That's been the pattern since I came back to work. They can't all be smooth. This morning as soon as I get to daycare Nell spits up all over my shirt. I get the kids in and think that maybe it will dry and not be noticable. By the time I get to the building, it's still noticeable. So I head on home and have to bypass a wreck to get there. Run in and change the shirt, then whack my head getting back into the car. On top of all this, my eczema which has been a mild inconvenience the past few days decided to come on out this morning to so I'm having issues relating to that as well. Come on Tuesday, what else have you got!?!?
This weekend was filled with the good. Saturday was scrapbooking with friends. Nell went with me because it's never too early to start, right? I got about six pages done. I'm caught up through the first of December. Then Saturday evening was the Georgia game. I was so tired and missed the last quarter, but Jack ssaid it was amazing. Sunday I did some baking. Took the kids to Wal-Mart. I need to really find a more organized way of shopping. I feel like I spend a good bit of time staring at a piece of paper in my hand and looking for things. While I was there Jack called to say he had found my debit card. I was so mad and with a full cart of groceries. He brought it to WalMart for me and even took the kids home with him while I checked out. Had DishNetwork installed yesterday evening. The guy was at our house until like 7:30! Long day.
Maybe later I'll post some recipes and pics of what I've been doing, even though Jack made fun of me taking pictures of my cookies. I also have to do administrative rounds this week. Joy! Can't wait...
Reminders everywhere today of this. This morning we doscovered that a little possum had entered Georgia's territory. He don't move no more.... Just now taking something to our storage room in the back of the building I happened on a spider with something in her web. Just stood and watched as she dispatched him and began draggin him to another part of her web. Life is short...shorter for some bugs and possums today.
Also tonight is the Indigo Girls playing in Macon. I first heard them playing at the Victorian Village in Macon when I was fifteen. I remember that concert and may even still have the shirt somewhere in the attic. Tonigh they're playing the Douglass Theater in Macon. I had thought about trying to go, but just couldn't think of how to arrange it with two kids and one being more needy these days. And who to go with. All those other questions. The concert sold out a week or so ago so I didn't have tot hink about it too much. But this morning I closed my office door for a little guitar game and my favorite way to play is to take my songbook and just randomly open it to a page and play that song. Yeah, about 75% of them have turned to an Indigo Girls song. Thanks universe for reminding me that I'm not going to that concert tomorrow!
I'm having a dilemma right now of how to spend Halloween. A group that I love to play music with is playing at a Fall Festival that night. they aren't expecting me since I usually take kids trick or treating that night. Usually I do this myself and Jack stay home and hands out candy. The past couple of years we've had less and less trick or treaters and I usually just drive Jay to a few friends' houses and go downtown where most of the businesses give out candy too. But I'm also thinking of just taking the whole family to the Fall Festival so I get to play music and they can just dress up for that. Not sure, need to give it more thought.
We had our first sibing related incident tonight. I've been taking nell into Jay's room at night to "tell him good-night." Tonight I had her lying with her head on his pillow so he could lie next to her (I was holding her the whole time) and he bumps heads with her when he lies down. Both were crying. It was nice. I felt so bad for her. Jay started crying because she was crying. It was lovely!
Made a corn tomato salad tonight for a bridal shower at work tomorrow that I won't even be able to attend. We have the Relay for Life luncheon tomorrow. Yay for my third free lunch this week! Two more days till the weekend! I can't wait for Friday. It's kind of funny. When I was on leave I almost lost track of the days most of the time until everyone on FB started posting their TGIF status updates. Now I'm there with them again. So looking forward to the weekend...
This article makes me happy in so many ways. There have been several times in the past couple of weeks that I have thought about throwing in the towel with nursing. For no other reason than my convenience. It just takes so long to pump. Takes time out of my night and work day. Three times a day during the week. I know I' doing best for Nell and she is definitely benefiting. But this article really made me even more happy about my decision to breastfeed. It truly is best for my child and will help protect her from this nasty swiiiiine flu. Thank you CDC. I know that there are a lot of people out there who try to breast feed and it doesn't work out. With Jay I had to supplement. I nursed as long as I could, but we had to give him a bottle because he wasn't eating at first. I worked really hard to be able to nurse him, but we always had to supplement. There are a lot of people who just aren't successful at all and those people I support in their decision. You have to do what's right for you and your baby. It's the people who don't breastfeed because they just don't want to or they think it's gross or just don't even give it a try. Come on people, the CDC says it's important.
I'm so tired. It's been a busy day shuttling around town and back and forth to the Garden Clubs program in the Fellowship Hall. Tomorrow morning more of that, and trying to get caught up!
This morning I made them! You'd think I hadn't done this before. First of all, Nell spits up...a bunch and misses the burp cloth with some so I ave to change shirts before I can even get out of the door! Then I walk in to daycare and raelize that I forgot bottles! Anything else they could have made do, but you can't forget the bottles! So I rush back home and get the bottles out of the fridge and run back to daycare. The sweet girl in the room met me outside and took them so I didn't have to go back in again.
Today we're having a Garden Therapy program at the chapel. I'm in charge of making 40 pens with flowers on them...forty of them. I'm just over halfway there, but with having the holiday yesterday it threw me off and I thought I had another day. Luckily Lisa found some left over from our Flower and Art show so I have those if I need them.
They're super simple to make. I'll add pics later, but you need a stick pen (the kind with the caps), floral tape and artificial flowers. I've found that the mum types work best. You take a piece of the floral tape and cut it in half lengthwise. Wrap this around the end of the pen. Then take the flower off of the stem and remove the plastic middle part. Stick the writing end of the pen through the hole in the flower and push the flower down to the end right against your tape. Do it this way instead of cutting it so it will be a snug fit. Then take your floral tape and wrap it starting at the end of the pen all the way up to the flower. They turn out really cute and are fun for flower themed party favors or just for fun. I've seen them in stores and they usually cost $5-$10. Mine cost less than $5 to make a bunch. the flowers I buy at the dollar store so a bunch is $1. The floral tape you can sometimes find there too, but it's never more than $3 and the pens you can buy the cheap kind that come 20 to a bag for a couple of dollars too.
Tonight I went to pick up dinner from Chili's. I love it when I don't have to cook! Plus with Jack not feeling 100% this weekend it's just easier. So I have to go in to the bar to pick it up. I took Nell since we're trying to limit her exposure to Jack, and I sit her carrier up in a bar stool (The ones with backs like chairs, very safe) and I go to sit in the chair next to her. The hostess rushes up to me and says she can seat me in a table if I want! I think she thought I was just going to sit up at the bar with my baby and get my drink on? It was pretty amusing.
Tomorrow is Labor Day so no work for me. We had hoped to take Jay fishing, but with Jack sick I don't know that it will happen. So I'm going to try to reschedule our playdate with Sidney since it never happened Saturday and maybe grill some chicken. If Jack isn't up to it I'll bake it (thrilling ain't it).
Some reading on tap for tomorrow and some knitting. I also need to check out the cash in the old bank so maybe I can take it to the bank and use it to get the new tires and tubes for the bike. I think that would help me know what else needs to be worked on.
I need another project like I need a hole in my head! LOL I bought a bike this morning at the Knights of Columbus yard sale! It was $5 and needs new tires and a new chain at least. Not sure what else it needs. I'll probably take it down to the bike shop one day and see what they say. I figure I can do a little bit here and there and maybe if there's any big work I can get it done for my birthday. I've been wanting a bike for a while and just hadn't had the opportunity or cash to get one. $5 seemed too good of a deal!
Other than that, we're having a lazy Saturday. My child who won't get up during the week was wide open at 5:00 this morning! Of course. We hit the yard sale. Jack's dad and our neices and nephew from Jefferson were here. The twins had not met Nell yet so that was fun. Jack Jr. took Jay for a haircut. Now we've had chicken nuggets and we're heading towards a nap! Maybe playdate this afternoon with Sidney.
I should get some reading done for school, but I also want to get some knitting done and finish up Nell's Georgia tutu!
So I've almost made it through my first week back to work, broke the 200 pound mark I've been hanging around at for the past month, taken Nell for her first set of shots, been to my first code yellow....what else?
Actually it's been a pretty good week. I've gotten most of my questions asked and am meeting with the "big wig" from Atlanta who's here to run things some time next week. Am settling back in to a routine which is the best part for me. Catching up on work stuff. Still have some upcoming projects that need some attention including the Fall Musical which is in a couple of weeks and I have very few people agreeing to performa nd havgen't picked out music for the choir yet. Need to get my schoolwork finished finally. The clients on my new unit are all in transition phase. They are hopefully on their way out of the hospital so I'm working on some ideas for them. They want to go to breakfast on a Sunday. I also want to work with them on some health related/exercise stuff and want to set up once a month meal planning/cooking group. I think that would be fun and right up my alley!
Nell is adjusting well to daycare. I think it makes it so much easier to start out early. They get used to it easier and it's not so hard for her to leave me. She's such a good baby and is pretty much sleeping through the night these days! I'm so glad. Makes getting up for work a little easier. Note I said "a little." 5:30 am is soooo early!
We're doing a Labor Day thing this afternoon with snacks for the clients. Tomorrow I need to take Jay for a haircut and am trying to set up a playdate. Tomorrow afternoon is the Georgia game. Then it's a three day weekend! Yay for three day weekends!!
I would not necessarily say I don't want to go back to work, but I am anxious about it. So much has gone on since I went out on leave that I don't know exactly what I'll be coming back to. I really don't even know if I'll have the same supervisor when I return or not. I've had some great anxiety dreams. One involving coming back to work and my office was all messed up. No desk or fridge and there were boxes stored up in it. I know that Nell will be in a good place with good people, so that's not a worry for me. IT's just getting back into the swing of things at work. Will just have to wait and see how things go.
On top of all this, I'm really anxious about pumping. When I went back to work after having Jay, my supply went away really fast when I went back to work and had to pump more than nurse. I've started taking Brewers Yeast and tomorrow will start Fenugreek. I made some oatmeal chocolate chip lactation cookies. So far I have seen much of a difference. Hopefully things will pick up in that department.
Here's hoping for a good night tonight. Last night we were awake between 2:00-4:00. I could barely drag out of bed this morning. I gave up and nursed about 3:30 and she was up a little after that, but Jack helped out too so that was great!
Tonight Nell was fussy and I finally swaddled her and put her in the swing and she calmed down. Jay got really huggy. It was so nice just hugging and cuddling my boy. He's getting so big that he barely fits in my lap anymore, but he was lovey tonight. I love that.
The last few weeks night time has been a chore in our house. Jay used to just get in bed and go to sleep. It was nice. We'd have him asleep by around 8:30 or at the very least confined in his room with the babygate and he'd just play. So he stopped wanting to go to bed and learned that he could use the stool for his "big boy" bed to climb over the gate. So that was no longer useful. Now we start a little before 8:00 and we're in and out of his room. The worst is the "potty" excuse. I don't want to discourage him from using the potty, but he rarely actually goes. Then it's back again. Jack and I have to take up "post" in our room so that when he gets out of his room we can direct him back. Nell, on the other hand, fusses a little, then she goes out. It's nice. I just hope that by the time she reaches this stage that he's out of it!
Hit up The Fresh Market in Macon for the first time today. I'm so glad there isn't one of these in Milledgeville because I'd shop there every day! I got this smoked salmon salad that is so tasty. And I loved their help yourself snack mixes and nuts. So fun just walking around and looking at everything. Also found some new non-dairy foods to try. a non-dairy rach dressing (looks terrible) and a block of cheddar vegan cheese (I can have pimento cheese now) and mac & chreese. Now just to see if they're any good!
This has been my last week of maternity leave. Monday Nell is going to go to daycare for a little while so that I can wrap up some things before I go back to work. Then Tuesday it's back to work again! Sad and relieved at the same time. Good to get back to a schedule, but I will miss time with my little girl. I can't believe she's eight weeks old now and I have to go back to work. Le sigh...
I also want to use this blog as a place to keep up with different projects. Anyone who knows me well knows I have to have three or four different things going on at one time. I'm not happy sitting still. That's why I say I'll be more productive when I'm back to work. So it's no surprise that I have three projects on my needles right now. I have a scarf for someone in my family, I have a baby yoda sweater for a coworker and I have a wave jumper for an upcoming baby. When I finish these I'll post pics.
I caved and didn't wait the 24 hours to put food in the new fridge. I waited 12. Good enough? It had better be! I just didn't want to have all my food in coolers any more. Freezer is jam packed now. I'm a happy camper.
Going to really work on the diet once I get back to work. I need that structure to help me with my eating habits. I eat too much junk and munch all day. I'm going to start using an online calorie counter again. This helped me a lot before. It helps to recognize portion sizes and helps with my portion control. No walk today. Drizzly weather today plus I need to get these performance reviews done today and read for class tonight.
One thing I'm realizing is that I write like I have people reading this blog. I know that a few people read this, but it will take me a while to get used to not having a bunch of people reading what I do ever day. that was one thing about LiveJournal that I think has turned me off to it. ElJay is so focused on making friends and having the biggest friends' list. It's all about trying to get more people to read what you write. It's kind of a big popularity contest. Now I will say that I have made several good online friends through that site, I'm just not about that anymore. I need to just have this outlet to say what I need to say and that's it.
Woohoo!!! It came and it's lovely, but they told us not to put anything in it for 24 hour? We've put a few things in there and I think I'll wait for tomorrow morning, but I need to get the coolers emptied out! And by the way, another unsolicited endorsement for Sears. They had scheduled the delivery for Monday, but I called this morning and asked if there was any way to get it today and explained that our fridge had died and they were able to work us in. I was really impressed with their customer service. Jack said they didn't want to lose a delivery charge, but I don't care. We got the fridge.
Tomorrow is my last day that I don't have anything really planned before I go back to work. Still have my little work and school stuff, but nowhere to be. Just hanging out with Nell. Then class tomorrow night. I still haven't finished all my reading, but I've done about half of it. It's just sooo much!
So CIO didn't work last night. She started making noise around 3:30 and I was able to get her to settle down with her paci. About 4:00 she started crying. At 4:30 I gave in and nursed and she went right back to sleep and I was exhausted! Didn't get back up myself until almost 7:00!
Today I'm going to try to go walk with Julia, I need to arrange to get the fridge this afternoon. Need to clean out the fridge since there's stuff in there that I didn't care if we threw away. Also need to get a bag of ice for the coolers that have all our fridge stuff in them.
Soooo tired today.
Also need to work on my papers and stuff that need to be done ASAP. Need to vacuum the house too. Floors looking terrible. Think we're cooking for Mom and Johnny tonight too. Lots to do...lots to do...
So now the fridge is totally dead. The light comes on, but there's no cold. Had to bring in coolers for the refrigerated goods. niiiiice... We didn't have much in there that would be a tragedy if it spoiled, although there is a few ounces of breast milk and I have to pump tonight. I'll just have to put them out in the freezer first thing in the morning. The new fridge isn't due to be delivered until Monday so Jack is trying to get someone to pick it up tomorrow.
Finished 1/3 of my performance reviews this morning. They need to be finished by Friday. Still have about forty pages to read before class Thursday night. Still have my final from last semester to finish. Still have my final intern evaluation to finish. Lots to do. Shame is, I'll have more of an opportunity to get them dne once I go back to work! LOL
So try to get all this busy work finished tomorrow and hope that we have a new fridge. I kept kind of wishing that I didn't have to wait until Monday for the new fridge, but I didn't want to get it early this way!
We are replacing the refrigerator! I must be getting old of I'm excited about a new appliance! Am I excited about a new bill? Not really. I wish it could be fixed, but yay new refrigerator!!
seven days left until I go back to work now. The next two days I can get some things done around here, then Friday I got to Macon for a filling and Monday I'll probably take Nell for a little while to daycare since we're paying for that week anyways and the refrigerator will be delivered then to. Then Tuesday it's back to work!
Am I excited to go back to work? That's complicated. I'm ready to be back in a set routine, but I don't want to leave Nell. I will miss this time I've had with her and it's time you can never get back. Do I think I would want to be a SAHM? No way. It's so much work and I don't do well with self-imposed routines. I need someone to tell me when to who up and what to do. So I'm ready to go back. I think that Jay has thrived at daycare and has made good friends and has been good for him so I'm not worried there at all. In fact I'm less nervous about it this time around. When Jay started daycare I was so worried that they would do things "right." I worried that he would miss me. Not that he didn't, but he was truly happy there too. And well taken care of too.
This last week I won't feel put out when it's time to sit down and spend the time nursing, I will enjoy getting to talk with her over her diaper changes, and I will cuddle her a little longer...
I met Julia for our usual walk at the greenway and then hit up CVS for diapers. When I came back out tot he parking lot I noticed a familiar face in the SUV next to my van. It was Joe, my former coworker who retired about four years ago. He and I worked together on Powell 3 West and were almost inseperable at work. We did most of our groups together and spent a lot of time during work hours together other than groups. When he retired he made all the regular promises that he would actually stay in touch and we would all see each other again. He never made true on that. I have only seen him maybe twice in the last year. Once at Christmas when he came out to do a volunteer thing and once I ran into him and his wife at Huddle House. It was good to see him and catch up and he got to see Nell. It has always made me a little sad since I kind of looked to him as a mentor when we worked together. Stuff happens I guess.
So there are a lot of people these days who think that CIO is of the devil. Really I'm not downing those people, but they believe that babies cry for a reason and CIO is ignoring that. Now, if I didn't have to work outside of the home, I might feel differently, but CIO worked with Jay and he's a well-adjusted (although crazy) three year old. So over the last week, Nell would wake up at night and I'd go nurse her and she'd nurse about ten minutes and fall asleep. Nothing like her 20-30 minute marathons during the day! So I had decided that she wasn't really needing those night feedings. Night before last I started to let her CIO. We did three cycles of fifteen minutes of crying and settling her down in between. She was not calming and by this time Jay was up so I got her up, nursed and got both kids back to sleep. Last night I decided to try again. This time she had to be settled after two fifteen minutes of crying, then next thing I knew it was 5:30 and she was barely stirring! She actually didn't start fudding to get up until about 6:30 and even then wasn't crying to be fed right away! It was amazing. Not that I thihnk it'll happen that way every night from now on, but there's hope! Maybe I'll be getting good sleep when I go back to work. With the things facing me, I'll need it!
I'm going to start out by saying that I have not received any compensation from the Crest company, but if they want to send me a check that will be fine. I switched to a Crest Pro Spin brush this morning. That thing is so strong that it makes your whole head vibrate! My teeth hqaven't felt this clean!
So on tap for today, I'm walking with Julia and Ada, need to hit the store for diapers for Nell, get some schoolwork done. I have my finaly from Administrative Law last semester that needs to be finished, plus reading for my current Issues in Nonprofit Managements course. All the reading for this class is going to kick my butt!
I go back to work a week from tomorrow. It's coming. I'm ready in some ways, but will really miss spending this time with Nell. Also trying this week to get up early so that I'm used to it. Going to try to get back on counting calories this week too. The weight is not coming off as quickly this time around as it did with Jay. I think part of it is that I'm eating crap these days! Just munching alld ay and not watching my portion sizes. One thing that will help is that I've had to cut way back on dairy. It seems to upset Nell's tummy and she's not as happy when I've been eating it. I take Lactaid every morning too and that seems to help, but I could tell a difference yesterday since I was weak and had some ice cream on Saturday. Yesterday I hit up Kroger and found some soy ice cream and also some other non-dairy foods in their limited selection that I'm trying. I'm also going to hit up the natural food store when I go to Macon Friday and see what I find.
My kids are amazing. Jay is three and is just a bundle of humor and energy. I'm always amazed at what comes out of his mouth. His red hair was a surprise to us, but just is who he is. He has this personality that you can't ignore. He never meets a stranger. He's my little politician!" Oh Lord! He walks into the room and you know he's there. He commands all the attention. He loves his family and friends. He's always talking about his grandparents or his buddies. He is rarely without his "Shu Shu." This if "Ruff Ruff" to the rest of us. IT's his Velveteen Rabbit! My boy is growing up and I can't wait to see where he goes in life.
My new baby Nell is such a wonder. She is a cuddler which warms my heart. I could sit and hold her all the time. We have one more week of my maternity leave and I'll never have this kind of time with her again. She'll be eight weeks on Thursday and I just can't believe it. It has gone so fast. I love the way she smiles when I come into her line of sight. I can't wait to do "girl things" with her. Shopping in Atlanta with lunch at Neiman Marcus, pigtails, tea parties, dance recitals. I can't wait. I have regret that she will never really know her great-grandmother for whom she is named. My Granny was such a special part of my life and I wish she was aware enough to enjoy her great-grandchildren. But I tell Nell about her all the time.
I guess I should mention my husband. Jack is the greatest. He puts up with me and loves me in spite of myself. He knows who I am and he accepts me. He is a great dad and works his program so diligently. Recovery is the best thing that has ever happened to us and without him I wouldn't have found this way of life. He makes me laugh and he stands by me no matter what. He listens to me and gives great advice, even if I don't want to hear it.
Since 2003 I've been blogging. I was turned on to Livejournal by an online friend and have built up quite an account over there. The past year or so I've been very sporadic in posting there and it's actually hard to get back into that blog. It's almost like I feel like I've let all those people over there down by not posting more often. I feel bad that I keep going back, making empty promises that I'll post more and then I disappear once again for months at a time. Lately I've been bookmarking a lot of pages on Blogger so I guess I figured I'd just get a new start over here and try to keep up more. I'm going to try to import my ElJay to here as well, but it will take time. It seems that it will only let you export a month at a time (I have six years of posts there...um 72 months?) and it's not even working at this moment so we'll see. I'd like to have everything in one place.
So what am I going to do here? I'm going to subscribe to the blogs I'm following. I'm going to talk about my family, my projects, working my Al-Anon program, just life in general. This is my brain dump. I've issed having that since I don't use the ElJay and I hope that I'll be keeping up better here than I have on Livejournal.